Memorial Weekend

I miss my brother. We were not close. In fact I think he hated me.
What I mourn right now is the time we no longer have to rebuild a relationship.
He forgave me before he died. I forgave him. I still hurt.
I can't go to the cemetary this weekend. Even if I could make it, I don't think I would be welcomed.
How do I make things right? Should I? I have been trying for years. Will they be more open now that he is gone?
I love you Rob. You did a lot for the country and I know we are all greatful. I miss you a lot. I will think of you a lot this weekend.
You are my hero.